Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2012 Wrap Up

Inconsistency has always been plaguing me. I have left this blog for a while due to crazy work schedules, work commitments, work, work, work and work. But life is not just about work is it? 

I am very competitive and always wanted to be successful. I focus on what I want to achieve in the future - new year resolution, 5 year plan, big house and sport car in the future. But what about now? Do I really live in the NOW or do I actually live in the future. Too much time is spent planning on the future. 

Over the years, I have learned one important lesson. If you cannot enjoy every moment in the Now, you will not be able to enjoy anything in the future, no matter how successful or how rich you'll ever become. Enjoy the NOW, LIVE the moment!

In 2012, I had my shares of happy, successful, tired, stressed out and scary moment. I have always dream to work oversea and going travelling to somewhere far far away. In 2012, this dream was realized as i went to the United States for work and travelling for 3 weeks.

In terms of career, I had passed the promotion assessment in 2012. Even though the self satisfaction is there, but the financial reward is not there. This is a conflict between what you reap and what you sow and I shall have the mental preparation to deal with myself. Nevertheless, it is an achievement I am proud of and will continue to work on, charging forward.

I had the scary moment when my dad was emitted to hospital over excessive blood lost due to what we later learned as the Hemorrhoid. The 30 minutes sitting outside the examination room was the longest moment in my life so far. It was scary and I am just so thankful that he is okay and nothing serious develop. 

2013 will be a soul searching one. It will continue to change my life to better and I will enjoy more in the Now and live every moment to its fullest.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

My Life, My Only Exception

Thanks to sweet Risma’s inspiring post, I had a sudden urge of molesting my keyboard again. I’m sitting alone in front of the LCD thinking it’s a wonder how technology can fool you so easily sometimes, tearing you apart between virtual reality and practical reality - “So alone yet not so alone”. This has brought me into the thoughts of - If only my life is a Microsoft Word.

If only my life is as powerful as a Microsoft Word, I can start everyday new without having to think about yesterday and tomorrow. I can digitize all my encounters into a new blank document everyday and when I don’t like it, I’ll close it without saving. That’s right, if I don’t like you, pooooh, You, out of my life, NOW! And yeah, if I like you, I’ll make you my wallpaper. (After some Photoshop effect that is =p)

If only my life is as flexible as a MW, I will make fonts bigger where they are supposed to be big and make fonts smaller where they are supposed to be small. If only we can have what we imagined, the world will be wonderful yet chaotic. Anyway I just realized that there is this ‘Asian text font’ named ‘Batang’, and it really looks kinda small. Fortunately my most frequently used font is a ‘Wide Latin’, where it is seen as wide, bold and huge.

If only my life is as wonderful as a MW, I would like to have the ‘redo’ button. Project failed, redo it. Problem unsolved, resolve it. Sucky relationship, rebuild it. It is the lack of courage to keep on trying again that kept me thinking, what would life be if we don’t try anything hard enough. Even if you succeed in your first attempt, well, try something harder, you will be rewarded. I don’t want the ‘undo’ button because if we can undo everything, there will be no mistakes. How can we learn to be better if there is no mistake? We can learn 10 times more from a mistake than from a success. Been there done that.

Be grateful for what we have; Don’t be afraid to make mistake. Heard so many people say these over and over again but still not grateful, still afraid of mistakes. So what shall we do?

Write your own life! Don’t be a Adobe Reader, be a Microsoft Word.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

That’s When

I have planted 2 trees over the weekend and wondered if only I can plant away all the things I don’t want in my life. Hmm..and then what? They are just gonna grow into a big effing tree bearing the fruits of all the things you don’t want in your life, raining down at you every single time you rejected/planted them. That’s when I truly know that, life is about you having to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Plant the things you want. Plant money, plant girls, plant cars, whatever. You’re gonna get them. Personal experience. (But why do I, against all odds, have no chance at all with girls?)


Posted a question on FB about the leftover food in kfc/mcD after they close for the day. My friend told me that the workers are allowed to eat/take the leftovers. Damn, where’s my resignation letter? Anyway, trying to be associative, what about the leftover works after office hour? Oh yes, I freaking get to eat those ‘tasteless’ leftovers as well. That’s when I learned that, ‘delegation’ and ‘empowerment’ are the two best friends I have in the office. You delegate a.k.a. taichi when the work brings too much hassles to you. And you empower your subordinates when you think the work is bullshit and doesn’t deserve your energy. Remember, the key phrase nowadays is ‘maximum impact with minimum effort’. Sound pretty negative but think about it.


Failure can reside in many forms and sometimes they can be very subtle. Some failures can be seen, some cannot. Some can be fcuked around, some cannot. Some you can live with, and some you cannot, and will never be. They told me at some point in life, everyone will fail but that doesn’t matter because all that matters is you, being able to bounce back. (oh yea, only those who have balls can do that) I agreed with that only until recently, after meeting an annoying guy who didn’t know he’s freaking irritating. That’s when I realized that, the most important part in dealing with failures is not being able to bounce back, but to recognize and acknowledge that failure in the first place. You can never have the chance to bounce back if you live with self-deception. It’s like balls are useless without the stick. (Ya, you got it, I’m talking about hockey)


To wrap up my learning over the weekend proving life is the best classroom:

1. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

2. Maximum impact with minimum effort.

3. Before you bounce, realize failure at once.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Mixed Feeling

I am usually effing piss off about morons who conveniently please themselves at others’ expense. I hate people taking the shuttle and stop to buy breakfast, making everyone wait as if we are being paid to wait for them to satisfy their pathetic appetite. Go effing get yourself another shuttle and move on! I have my schedule to keep and jobs to be done. I have people watching over my progress and waiting for my contribution. I would be screwed for not having contributed enough. Would you be fucked up if you will just get down the shuttle, buy your breakfast, get another shuttle, and leave me alone? No you won’t, I will.

But again, what rights do I have to ask people to do as I say? Maybe I was being a little too impatience, a little too angry or stressed up. Too stressed up for barely meeting your expectations. Now, should I try to please everyone, make everybody happy or be myself, at my own pace and make myself happy? The answer is obviously the former option. Make everyone happy or at least try. Or perhaps, make the right person happy. It’s the only way you can survive in this corporate world. I’ve seen it so many times and it’s proven. If you’re naive enough to believe you should just be in your own world foolishly pleasing yourself, doing whatever you want, then I will see you on your way down.

I recognize exactly the problem but my problem is failing to act on the problem, knowing the consequences and downfalls. Since the obvious option is no longer a viable option, I shall go for the latter. Anyone not happy with me being happy deserve my finger. Right at your face! I am appreciative, I really do. I do appreciate a few individuals who care to share and didn’t care to frown when I fucked up. You threw me into the wild ocean but with life jacket provided. You’re so much better than them who threw me into the water with nothing on and then spitted on me. One day when I would finally make my way out from the water I’m gonna force these people to swallow my spit.

The choice of words might indicate I’m being very emotional at the moment but no, it’s not true. This is the calmness before storm and it’s more evil than the storm itself. How evil? I don’t know but people used to say if you keep working with people of the same gender, your testosterone amplifies and that makes you aggressive and easily irritated by the simplest things. Perhaps this was the true cause to why I lose my temper on two poor guys that morning. I was in a quarrel with two guys which lasted for about 5 minutes. The contents? Nevermind but the moral of the story is: I was right, they were wrong. Surprisingly I felt good after that. Maybe I should do it more often then.

I realized this is one of my rants that I probably will be deleting in the near future. But again, who cares? As long as I’m happy.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

A weekend to forget everything

I had a great weekend. A great weekend to forget everything. A lot of worries, a lot of quarrels and a lot of misunderstanding. Reaching for the phone, I can’t hide anymore. Do all the stupid things and forget the world. Tomorrow I’ll start fresh again.


A lot of worries. A lot of quarrels. A lot of misunderstanding. Now there are all gone.


*Et ducit mundum per luce. Lead the world by light. I’m waiting for Angels and Airwaves 3rd album, Love to debut on the Valentine’s day, aka CNY. The first and second, We Don’t Need to Whisper and I-Empire were just fantastic.